


The Letters

by icecreamscoups



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Eventual Smut, M/M, Romance, lots of jeongcheol fluff, non-au, onesided jicheol, seungcheol is so whipped by jeonghan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-19
Updated: 2016-09-04
Packaged: 2018-08-09 19:39:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7814551
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icecreamscoups/pseuds/icecreamscoups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jeonghan has a cute fanboy. The only thing that he doesn't know is that they're in the same band.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

  

Seungcheol never considered himself much of a linguist, but there he sat, pen expertly gliding against paper as he forced his hand to write at the speed his mind thought. Though his handwriting wasn’t the neatest, his words were never forced. Declarations of love stained his stationary as he folded up what felt like his thousandth letter, stuffing the words into a neatly addressed envelope. Often at these times he felt like a wordsmith. However, he was merely just another fan.

 

* * *

 

Seungcheol could still vividly remembered his first love. Choi Jimin, a girl in his grade school. A young girl with long brown hair and teardrop moles sprinkled around her eyes, who gave him his first kiss one recess while the other kids weren’t looking. Though the feeling dissipated over time, Seungcheol could still remember how electric he felt, the pounding in his chest being the only thing he could hear as the world seemed to stop around him.  This old feeling stayed dormant in him for so long as his first love became less vivid, and the world around him became more practical than romantic. Yet it only took one simple phrase for his emotions to once again be whipped into a frenzy.

“Hi, I’m Yoon Jeonghan.” _Yoon Jeonghan...even his name was angellic_ .  I guess we’ll be seeing a lot of each other from now on.” Seungcheol’s throat went dry as he managed to answer back a bland _yeah, for sure_.

Practice wasn’t just practice after that. Dancing was easily pushed to the back of his head as he scanned the group of other trainees for the new guy. At first, Seungcheol could reason it away well, both to himself and his best friend, Jihoon. _He must be having a hard time, maybe I should give him a hand. I’m the oldest, I should make sure he’s doing okay._ While his answers seemed to satisfy Jihoon, they only made Seungcheol more confused. Of course, he wanted to take care of the other trainees. But the more he saw Jeonghan, the more memories of preteen Seungcheol’s romance resurfaced with more zeal than he would have ever thought. Each word out of Jeonghan’s mouth became poetry, every touch seemingly electric charged. He was special, more than just another trainee. He was someone magnetizing, that Seungcheol couldn’t seem to stay away from.

In the back of his mind, Seungcheol knew this abnormal dynamic between them had to be confronted sooner or later.

However, he opted for later.

 

* * *

 

As the days became months, Seungcheol could only feel himself falling _deeper_ into the fascination that was Yoon Jeonghan. He wanted to know everything about him, from the trivial stuff like his favorite color to his passions and aspirations. The two spent endless nights chatting away, talking about everything and anything that came to mind. Each night he learned something different about the other boy, but with each answer Jeonghan was just greeted with 10 more questions.

A simple “I really love acting” was always met with the enthusiastic barrage of “What genre? Who’s your favorite actor? Do you prefer dramas or movies? Who’s your ideal co-star?”

“Calm down, Seungcheol,” Jeonghan laughed, popping a piece of candy into the older’s mouth to keep him from opposing. “If we’re debuting together, we’re gonna have forever to learn about each other. What if you learn everything and you get bored with me?”

 _I could never get bored of you_ , Seungcheol thought to himself, grumbling a bit as he lay his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder. “Promise I’ll have a lot of time with you? I’m not gonna let you go until I know everything.”

“Promise,” Jeonghan laughed, shaking his head a bit at how silly the other was. “But you can’t keep any secrets from me either then, okay?”

Seungcheol couldn’t pinpoint quite why, but the words made him feel a little uneasy. Was he hiding something from his best friend by not revealing his feelings? What even were his feelings anyways?  “You know I’m an open book, Hannie.”

Jeonghan nodded. “That’s why I like you, Seungcheol. I always know what you’re thinking.”

 _If you only knew_ , thought Seungcheol to himself.

 

* * *

 

Seungcheol coasted by this way for a while, working hard for his eagerly anticipated debut and only occasionally stealing glances at his best friend between practices. Their minds were overloaded with practices and schedules, but the soon-to-be leader didn’t mind; if anything, they were a perfect tool for him to push off the thoughts that were plaguing him.

The promise of debut also promised a lot of change, both in schedule and looks. When it was time for the makeovers, the oldest member opted to go first. Seungcheol’s coordi cut his mop of hair down to a sleek blonde style to match the appearance a name like ‘S.Coups’ brought to mind, and the others were no different. One after one the Seventeen hopefuls were transformed into the best versions of themselves, their features accentuated and style levels brought up significantly. He couldn’t deny how he ogled his own members, endless fawning over how fairy-like Jihoon -- _now Woozi, apparently_ —looked with pink hair, or how well Minghao was able to pull off his colorful and cute concept.

“Our Woozi, what a cutie,” Seungcheol beamed, squishing his friend’s cheeks while fawning over the smaller boy. “Who knew pink hair would suit you so well, you’re gonna have so many girls all over you.”

Jihoon stifled a laugh, his face turning red at the endless praise he was receiving. “Seungcheol, you’re too much,” He joked, pushing his friend away as he tried to hide just how flustered he was becoming. Yet the ever oblivious leader continued on, showering Jihoon and the others in compliments.

Everyone looked amazing, but it wasn’t until Seungcheol saw Jeonghan that his jaw nearly fell to the floor. His hair had been growing some time now, though it was the cause of some debate. The bickering about it seemed to make Jeonghan a bit nervous as well, as he always seemed to have his hair up or neatly hidden. But now the long locks were freely flowing, with a sleek finish and a slight curl at the ends. Topped off with stylish clothing and dark eyeliner, he was really an awe inspiring sight.

 _“Holy shit, hyung_ .” Dokyum was the first to say anything as Jeonghan showed off his new style, earning him a quick ‘ _Watch your language’_ scolding from Jihoon. “Mingyu better watch out before Jeonghan becomes our visual.” Chatter picked up as the other members ceaselessly admired the gorgeous boy, and Seungcheol just stared in disbelief. Jeonghan was always ethereal, but times like this it really showed.

“Seungcheol, how is it?” Jeonghan asked shyly, doing a quick spin around to show off for him. _You’re gorgeous, angelic, perfect, like a canvas brought to life,_ Seungcheol thoughts screamed at him before he chose to respond with a cold “Yeah, it’s good.”

“Just good?” Jihoon teased knowingly, nudging at the older’s side.

Seungcheol just nodded a bit, unsure of what to say. “Yeah, but I wouldn’t want to say too much about another guy.” Jihoon stared in disbelief as the leader continued. “Just… I’m not _gay,_ you know.” Multiple people in the room quirked their brows, and Jihoon had to hold in a laugh. How could it be that Choi Seungcheol, master of greasy and overbearing comments towards both the opposite and same sex, was suddenly concerned about being labeled as gay?

 _Cheol…you literally just told Jun that his long hair is ideal for a makeout session,_ Jihoon thought to himself, soon deciding it was in his better judgement to drop it. “Jeonghan, you really do look like a star,” He decided on instead, eyeing the nervous leader with concern. _Seungcheol, really…what are you doing…_

 

* * *

 

Once debut came, Seungcheol’s thoughts were once again put off the long haired brunette. It wasn’t until some quality time with his high school friends that he once again had to face facts and the reality of his situation hit him. The friends knocked back a few beers in celebration of Seventeen’s first video, all the while reminiscing about the good old days and catching up on the events they had missed since they last spoke. It was all small chit-chat for a while, as the group asked Seungcheol about training, his bandmates, and his career. That is, until the ever-dreaded question for singles came up.

“Cheol, do you have a girl?” One of his friends asked the inevitable so warmheartedly that he couldn’t even be upset. “You must be popular with women now since you’re an idol.” Seungcheol paused for a moment and his eyes fixated on the silver wedding band on his friend’s finger. _He’s really so fortunate_ , he thought, feeling a small pang of jealousy. What he wouldn’t do to be in love, to be with someone who was just as fond of him as he was of them.

 _I’m married to my career_ , he answered as if he had been rehearsing it for years. _Seventeen is more important than a relationship._ Groans came from all around the table because _dammit Seungcheol, isn’t there at least someone who makes your heart do backflips_? “There has to be girls all over you, isn’t there someone you’re interested in?” Even thinking about it made Seungcheol feel butterflies in his stomach, as Jeonghan immediately popped into mind. Nobody else had ever caught his interest the way that Jeonghan had when they met over two years ago. The more he thought over it, the clearer it was to Seungcheol how much he liked his best friend, in a way that could jeopardize a lot for the both of them. It was more than a simple infatuation; it was a full blown crush.

“Seventeen is more important than a relationship,” the idol answered a bit more firmly. “I could never let the others down because of a silly crush.”

Though he only said the words in passing, they stuck with Seungcheol long after. It seemed every time he saw Jeonghan, he was filled with guilt over his feelings for his fellow member along with the guilt of keeping such a big secret. How could he be so selfish, to risk 6 years of training and the livelihood of others for someone couldn’t even like him? While observing the others working so hard he felt sick to his stomach, knowing he could never tell anyone about his newly accepted feelings. And while he promised to keep those feelings hidden deep inside him, keeping secrets from the most important people in his life was really taking a toll on him.

 

* * *

 

Seungcheol would always keep in his heart the day he got his first fanletter. The envelope was made out to “My S.Coups”, with hearts covering the page as the fan confessed her love in between messages of love and support.

“Congrats on your first admirer,” one of the coordis teased as the idol read the letter over and over again.  “She must really like you.” Seungcheol smiled wider at the words and at the idea of being so loved enough to have someone to cheer him on no matter what. She was so bold, the way she declared feelings that Seungcheol couldn’t even speak of so effortlessly on the page. He hoped he could be someone like that for Jeonghan as well someday; someone who could make him smile with loving and encouraging words. Perhaps he was Jeonghan’s fan in the same way the girl was his?

With that realization, the letters started. It began simple enough, with a quick message on plain white paper. As soon as he started Seungcheol’s most honest feelings flowed naturally onto the page; it wasn’t hard to figure out what to say since the words had been bottled up in his mind for years now. Looking over the cheesy words once more, he quickly stuffed the letter into the envelope, placing it on top of a small fanmail pile before he had the chance to lose his nerve. The weight in his chest seemed to lighten a bit at the idea of finally confessing, even if it was in such an odd way. Finally, he could be honest about his feelings in a way that didn’t put the group he loved so much at risk. He went to bed content at the words and excited for what they would bring.

It wasn’t until the next morning that Seungcheol truly began to panic, his blood running cold as the other members sorted through the small pile of fanmail. He watched at a few of the member dug through to find their own personal words of encouragement, whilst Jeonghan plopped into the seat beside the leader. “Morning, Coupsy,” He said groggily as his fingers worked open an envelope addressed to him, making Seungcheol tense with anxiety. _What if he doesn’t like the words I made for him?_ Jeonghan sipped on his coffee as scanned through the letter, his face lighting up as he clung to every word. “Seungcheol, listen to this.” The younger leaned up against his friend as he read passages of the heartfelt confession. “My angel Jeonghan, how am I supposed to be productive if all I have in my mind is you? You don’t even know I exist, but I feel myself cheering for you and falling for you more each time I see you…Isn’t that so beautiful?”

Jeonghan held the note close to his heart in delight as Seungcheol breathed a sigh of relief. “Congrats on your first superfan, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan giggled in delight, his smile spreading from ear to ear. Though in the back of Seungcheol’s head, something felt a bit wrong. Deep down he knew that Jeonghan wouldn’t smile like that if he knew that the letter was from him.

 

* * *

 

“Seungcheol, I got another letter from that guy today!” Jeonghan mindlessly plopped into his friend’s lap, opening the letter so they both could see. In the past few weeks, the two had been more affectionate than ever before. Every time they were free they were as close as possible to each other, so much that even the fans began speculating about their relationship. Maybe it was a result of the letters? Despite Jeonghan receiving countless of them my now, he always lit up when he saw the letters from his first real admirer. Each time he’d run to Seungcheol, who would slip his arms around the other’s waist as Jeonghan read, pretending as if it was the first time he had ever heard the cheesy lines and enjoying the closeness of the other boy.

Even other members had noticed their intimacy, leading to a few cocked brows and prying questions. Jihoon was the first to ever bring it up, as he pulled Seungcheol to the side one day after dinner. “Hey, Cheol…do you and Jeonghan have anything…going on? You guys seem pretty…um, close.” His straightforward nature caused Seungcheol to almost choke.

“We’re friends, Jihoon, it’s natural for us to be close.” As soon as he said the words, he could tell his friend wasn’t buying them.

“I know you like him, Seungcheol. Everyone knows.” The smaller spoke softly, trying not to spook his friend too much. “Plus…I saw you writing that letter last night. Have you written all of them?” Jihoon never meant to pry, but he had to admit he was a bit protective about the older boy. He’d often check on Seungcheol after a long day, if only to make sure that he was resting or eating properly. But through his loving curiosity, he found Seungcheol sneaking around, writing cute declarations of love to Jeonghan any chance he could.

Seungcheol hesitated, trying to wrap his head around the new information while figuring out his next step. He was so careful, yet after only a handful of letters he was already found out.  “Just…don’t tell him,” He practically begged the smaller boy, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “I’m sorry, but I would never ruin Seventeen for a crush, you more than anyone would understand that...” He thought back at how hard he and Jihoon had practiced so long, and knew in his heart his friend had to be upset. What he was doing was risky; if anyone found out – especially Jeonghan or the media – it couldn’t be pretty for the band. He felt awful for putting someone like Jihoon who had worked so hard for so long in a position like this.

“Cheol…I’ve known you for 5 years now. So why is it still so hard for you to come to me when you have hardships?” Jihoon smiled a bit, leaning up onto his tip toes to properly ruffle the older’s hair. “Whatever you do about your feelings, me and everyone else are still going to support you. You’re our leader. Plus….It’s good to see you so happy.”

Jihoon smiled at the idea of Seungcheol having a crush. Despite knowing him for years, he was never someone that showed interest in other boys or girls until he met Jeonghan. This was a dismay to many people close to him, even himself. But even despite his own feelings Jihoon had to admit that Jeonghan was truly a blessing; he made the already bubbly Seungcheol happier than he had ever seen, and no words could ever explain how thankful he was for that. At a time in their training that made both of them feel helpless, the little pick me up the leader felt while looking at Jeonghan must have given him a little more will to keep trying. It was good after a hard day to see Seungcheol beaming from ear to ear, talking about how handsome or smart the other boy was. He was whipped, and it didn’t take much for Jihoon to realize that he was too. “You know I just want you to be happy, Seungcheol. You deserve it.”

“Jihoonie…” Seungcheol smiled from ear to ear before pulling him into a hug. “I really love you, you know that?”

 _If only,_ Jihoon couldn’t help but think.


	2. Chapter 2

_ My angel, _

_ I don’t know when my fondness of you turned from infatuation to love, but I think I’m ready to admit my feelings. I do love you, everything about you, from your sweet voice and beaming smile to your seemingly cool but caring demeanor. _

_ Would you allow me to love you, even as just a fan? I used to think loving you was a crime, something I would never be allowed to share or embrace. _

_ Maybe, with your permission, I can stop being so worried and honestly embrace my emotions. _

_ Even though I usually give you strength, I’d like to be selfish and ask you for some when I see you. If you’re cheering me on, I think I could do anything. _

_ Forever yours. _

_ CSC. _

Seungcheol looked over the page, making sure he didn’t say anything too excessive in his whirlwind of emotions. His talk with Jihoon really made him rethink a lot of his feelings along with contemplating the morality of his emotions. Having someone that knew and supported him made him feel so much less like some sort of offender, creeping around at the risk of others seeing his attachment to his fellow group mate. Slowly but surely, the boy began to feel a bit less ashamed and guilty of his now clearly unavoidable feelings. He liked Jeonghan; and after two years of liking him, it only managed to make him become fonder of the boy. So what was so wrong with speaking up about it?

“Cheol, are you decent?” The familiar, teasing voice brought Seungcheol back to reality as Jeonghan creaked open the door. He was just wearing some boxers and a sweater, but the older couldn’t help but admire him. Even in the most general clothing, he still managed to shine as if he were preparing for a photoshoot. “What are you writing?” Jeonghan leaned over the desk, his eyes scanning the page before his friend abruptly covered it, making a lame excuse as he flipped the page over.

“Just a letter for my family”, Seungcheol explained away, shoving the papers into his notebook as nonchalantly as possible despite freaking out inside. He took a deep breath before looking back up at the long haired boy, an inquisitive face gracing his soft features. “Do you need anything, Han?”

Jeonghan sat in the chair beside the other, resting his hand on Seungcheol’s shoulder. “I was talking to Jihoon yesterday, he seemed worried about you.” Just the mention of Jihoon made Seungcheol visibly tense. Had Jihoon revealed his secrets already? “I just wanted to come make sure you’re okay, Cheol. You’re worrying me.” There was a brief silence before Jeonghan tried again. “You’d tell me if something was wrong, right?”

The older averted his eyes, not wanting his friend to see how ashamed he may have looked. He could only pray that Jeonghan believed him when let out a meek “Of course”. Seungcheol felt another pang of guilt as once again hid from someone he was so close to. He wanted to let go and show his true thoughts, but it was so hard when there was so much on the line.

Jeonghan sighed, clearly knowing that his friend wasn’t telling him the full truth. They knew each other so well at this point, so knowing that Seungcheol was going through something so big on his own was truly heartbreaking to the other boy. “Seungcheol….” Jeonghan’s hand ran through his friend’s hair, trailing down to stroke his cheek with his thumb. “Cheol, look at me.” The older hesitated, his heart heavy and throat dry despite being used to (and quite enjoying) the excessive physical contact from the other boy.

Seungcheol turned and looked up at the other, who had been watching him with a gentle smile as his long fingers traced his features. Neither of them spoke as Jeonghan just admired the older, who had seemingly stopped breathing the moment Jeonghan’s hands made contact with his skin. The feeling was nice, and from the looks of it calmed the leader significantly.

“You must have been having such a hard time alone,” Jeonghan finally spoke up in a moment of bravery, his tone becoming hushed under the focus of the leader. “I really should have realized sooner.”  _ Realized? _ Seungcheol gulped, the words not coming out as he became hyper aware of just how close Jeonghan was to him, only coming closer to let his lips brush against his own.

“Is this okay?” Jeonghan spoke timidly, the heavy words filling the room before getting lost against the older boy’s lips as Seungcheol absentmindedly pulled him closer. His brain could barely process what was happening, or why, but all he knew in the moment was that he wanted to be as close to Jeonghan as he possibly could be. As the kiss deepened Seungcheol was in pure bliss, melting into the younger’s gentle kiss as he was intoxicated on the smell of Jeonghan’s vanilla scented shampoo. Seungcheol was on cloud nine as he desperately noted every detail of this moment, burning it into his memory as he knew it was likely to never happen again. He wanted to take in everything: how soft Jeonghan’s skin was, the tenderness of his kisses, how his long hair draped over his face, brushing against the older’s cheek as they pulled each other closer, his soft touches-

“Seungcheol, the others and I are gonna get takeout what do you--” Jihoon burst the door open without thinking, causing the two other to practically shove each other away at the boy’s voice. All three went red as Jihoon realized the situation, coughing to break the uncomfortable silence. “Um, we’re gonna order Chinese food, if you want some you should probably order b-but I’ll let you two be…” _ It was really just his luck to walk in on his crush like this... _

Jeonghan quickly jumped up from Seungcheol’s lap, looking down so his hair covered is crimson red face. “Chinese food sounds great,” He mumbled the excuse to leave, quickly pushing past the shorter boy in an attempt to escape the mortifying situation.

Jihoon eyed the two before focusing on the dazed Seungcheol, offering a hand to help him up. “Guess you didn’t actually need my advice, did you?” He joked trying to get any sadness out of his voice. The leader just blinked, looking up at him completely dumbfounded. 

“Jihoon, am I dreaming right now?” _ If I am, don’t let me wake up. _

 

* * *

 

Despite the amazing, dream-like day Seungcheol had, the next week was when panic truly set in. For the first time in years, Jeonghan wasn’t attached to him at the hip; instead the two were giving awkward smiles in passing and staying a few steps away whenever possible. Ever since that night everything was just so off, and anyone around them could tell. But nobody was taking it quite as hard as Seungcheol, who had been in panic mode since the moment reality set in.

Even with Jihoon reassuring him that his feelings were okay, it was hard to believe when one of his closest friends couldn’t even look him in the eye. The more time went on the more ashamed he felt, and with these new emotions came new set of letters for his favorite muse. Hurried words made their way onto the page before heading towards an envelope neatly labeled ‘ _ Jeonghan _ ’.

Only hours later, his letter once again made it into the hands of the younger boy, who excitedly ripped open his admirer’s letter, reading it aloud for the others as per his now weekly routine.

 

_ “Angel Jeonghan, _

_ Recently, I made a mistake. I did something I maybe shouldn’t have and I now I feel like such a fool.  Please look after me fondly; I’m sure that with your good thoughts everything will turn out okay. _

_ Thank you for always giving me strength, _

_ -CSC” _

 

“How odd to get a letter like that.” Dokyum spoke bluntly, leaning over Jeonghan’s shoulder to properly read the note. “Poor guy.”

“Poor guy,” Jeonghan agreed, quickly glancing over at Seungcheol before hastily looking away.  _ Secret admirer CSC…things certainly hard for you _ , he thought to himself, smiling a little to himself as he finally pieced everything together. He always has a hunch that “CSC” was Seungcheol; well, more than a hunch, really. Signing everything with his own initials, what kind of guy would expect not to get caught? Perhaps only the kind of boy that would be foolish enough to bury his love letters inside a mountain of fan messages in the first place...

Choi Seungcheol was really such an odd case. But somehow, it just made him more endearing, despite how silly it was. How could his overly talkative leader somehow not express himself in person? With the way his admirer shows his feelings, it would make sense that bluntness wouldn’t be his forte. But if anything, that’s where the kiss was meant to solve their problems. Just one minute of blind forwardness was all it would take to make everything better; so why did the thing meant to finally progress their years of stagnancy end up making things even worse? Did he scare off his sweet admirer by being so forward?

The younger couldn’t help but think that he had completely ruined any chance he had at getting Seungcheol to confess. Is this all that almost 3 years of stolen glances and shy encounters could amount to?

Now that he looked back on it, Jeonghan realized had really liked the leader for as long as he could remember. He so vividly remembered the day they first met; Seungcheol had just finished dance practice, his hair glistening with beads of sweat and his biceps flexed he stretched. And if that wasn’t enough to make Jeonghan completely flustered, the inviting eye smile he was greeted with certainly was. Right from the start everything about Seungcheol was so warm and inviting, making Jeonghan quickly feel right at home in the foreign and intimidating environment. Working in such a big company was certainly tough, but having someone as optimistic and loving as Seungcheol by his side made everything better. And as time went on, soon everywhere Seungcheol went felt like home.

But now Jeonghan felt like an intruder, and that fact made his heart drop.

Jeonghan sighed, watching the leader across the room as he tried to figure out a new game plan. Until, finally, it hit him.

If he _ really _ wanted to reach Seungcheol, he just had to play the same way. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Good job everyone, you worked hard today,” Dokyum beamed, attempting to cheer up his teammates as they all loaded up in their company’s van. It had been a hard day for everyone, with multiple performances all over the city and a huge Inkigayo stage to top it all off. All the boys were defeated by the day, each sighing in relief the moment they fell onto their seats.

Seungcheol grumbled a bit as he squished into the packed van. “I didn’t do too great. I messed up my footwork towards the end.” He couldn’t help but beat himself up over it. He had done this same dance a thousand times, how could he mess it up at such a crucial time?

“You were towards the back; I doubt anyone even noticed.” Seungcheol looked up as he heard Jeonghan spoke, watching him take his place beside the leader. His body visibly stiffened being so close to the person he had been avoiding so often lately.  

“Let’s hope,” The older frowned, looking towards the window of the van and letting the scenery distract him from his worries. “How can a leader screw up something so simple though.. it was really a mess.”

The younger rested his head on the leader’s shoulder, keeping his nerve to stay there despite the older seeming to shy away from the affection. “You’re too hard on yourself,” Jeonghan said as he took a small envelope from his bag. “You did well. Even got a fancy fanletter.”

“Fanletter?” Seungcheol’s ears perked up at the words. “But we didn’t even have a meet today…”

Jeonghan blushed, contemplating his decision one final time before tucking the letter into the leader’s jacket pocket. “Well, I thought you might want this.”

“Yeah, thanks.” The older nodded, taking out the envelope and making Jeonghan scream  _ no, not yet _ in his head. If he read it in a place like this with nowhere to escape, how could he handle even looking at Seungcheol afterwards?

Despite Jeonghan’s tries to reach Seungcheol telepathically, the older still opened the letter, eagerly awaiting the contents. 

_ “S.Coups- _

_ I can’t believe you were a stranger to me just a few years ago. Time flies fast, right? But it feels like I’ve known you my entire life. Maybe it’s the way you welcomed me so warmly when we first met that made me feel like I belonged by your side. When we met everything became so much better, Cheol. Because I met you my heart finally felt whole. Maybe that’s why the idea of hurting you is so frightening to me. _

_ Liking me, you must hurt a lot right? I’m not as open and loving as you, and to an extrovert like you my introverted nature must be baffling at times. And when I do get courage to speak my feelings….unfortunately it ends the way it did the other night. _

_ I guess what I’m trying to say is that I want to be there for you the way you are for me. I want to make your heart feel warm and give you the happiness you deserve. _

_ I like you, Seungcheol. And I’m not going to pretend I don’t anymore. _

_ -Yoon Jeonghan, your biggest fan.” _

Seungcheol looked at over at his friend, his face a mix of both panic, and excitement. “Jeonghan…? I-I’m…”

The leader fumbled with his words before Jeonghan spoke up, voice lowering to not alert the other 11 half-awake boys in earshot. “I...I think your ‘ _ fan’  _ really means what he’s saying, Cheol...” Jeonghan looked down, twiddling his thumbs as he tried to figure out the right words. He had never confessed to someone before; his crushes were always hidden in his heart and taboo to talk about. Confessing, even in such a shy way, was enough to make him feel like he was about to explode.

But looking over at Seungcheol, he could tell the leader was a thousand times more nervous. His face was bright red as he reread the letter at a loss for words, and Jeonghan could practically hear how fast his heart was beating in his chest.

_ I like you, Seungcheol. And I’m not going to pretend I don’t anymore. _

Seungcheol never knew that such simple words would be able to send him into such a panic. Jeonghan confessing to him was a scenario he never even dared to dream about. Yet there they were, with Jeonghan smiling at him sheepishly as the world around him seemed to disappear. His one sided love that he held onto suddenly wasn’t one sided anymore, and for the first time he realized just how lovingly Jeonghan looked at him. He was so busy focusing on his own feelings that he never once thought about Jeonghan’s own.

“I feel really sorry…. putting my, um, fan through any hardships,” Seungcheol spoke, trying not to make his words too obvious. “Because I really love…m-my fans…”

Jeonghan blushed harder, looking away so the leader couldn’t see how shy he was becoming. “I-I’m sure…your fans also love you a lot, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan only looked back when he felt a hand intertwining with his, giving his a tight squeeze that managed to say more than words ever could.

The younger squeezed back, moving his head to lay on Seungcheol’s shoulder as he sighed in delight. It was such a simple moment, but the two had never been happier. 

Their moment only stopped once their van did as well, the doors sliding open as the worn out members hurried inside. Both frowned a bit before reluctantly pulling apart from each other to head back to the dorm, all the while stealing glances from each other as they shyly made their way inside. 

All the others made their way to the living room, huddling up against each other as Seungkwan grabbed the remote. No matter how tired the group was, they couldn’t go without their nightly routine of watching old episodes of  _ King of Masked Singer _ together as a group. Even when most of the members were asleep, the tradition was one they all loved and wanted to keep.

“Cheol?” Seungcheol moved to sit down with the others before he heard his name, turning to look at Jeonghan. “Can you help me with something?”

“With what?” It took Seungcheol a moment before realizing that Jeonghan didn’t really want help. “I-I mean yeah, coming,” The leader stammered as he changed his answer, quickly hopping up to follow after Jeonghan, who lead him into his bedroom.

There was a moment of silence as Jeonghan figured out what to say, shyly lacing his fingers with the leader’s own. 

“So…what was all that about loving your fans?” He boldly said after a minute.

The leader couldn’t help but laugh, biting his lip as he pulled the younger closer until their foreheads touched. “I really, truly love…my fans…” Seungcheol bit his lip timidly as his eyes met Jeonghan’s, causing a goofy smile to spread across his face.

“How long have you?” The younger pried, hand running up to stroke Seungcheol’s cheek as his breath tingled against his lips.

“As long as I can remember.” Seungcheol’s breath hitched as Jeonghan nuzzled closer against him, snaking his hands around the smaller’s waist. “From the moment I met you…”

“And here I thought we were talking about fans…” Jeonghan teased, not so subtly eyeing Seungcheol’s lips. Everything about them were so soft and inviting, and he had been craving the taste since their last kiss seemingly ages ago.

The two locked eyes, Seungcheol flashing a warm smile as his lips brushed up against Jeonghan’s. Humming in delight he moved closer, their lips pressing against each other with a bit more enthusiasm.

Seungcheol had never experienced anything so intense; such desire, love, and adoration pressed into one simple moment that he prayed never had to end. His hands wandered anywhere they could, running his hands up his back and pulling him so they were flush against each other. Yet still, Seungcheol just wanted to be closer, to feel inseparable as the smell Jeonghan’s sweet cologne overwhelming his senses in the most amazing way. He had kissed Jeonghan a thousand times in his dreams; but nothing could ever compare to the real thing.

He was completely drowning in Yoon Jeonghan, and he couldn’t be happier.

Jeonghan sighed in delight, running his hands down the leader’s chest. Seungcheol couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, wordlessly coaxing Jeonghan on as the smaller boy ran his hands all over the other’s body. His touches were like fire, each one lingering as Jeonghan took the rare opportunity to explore every inch of Choi Seungcheol.

Seungcheol gasped against Jeonghan’s mouth as the younger’s hand went farther down, falteringly palming at his bulge and looking up at his leader for approval. 

“Jeonghan…we should stop…” Seungcheol managed to breathe out. Everything in Seungcheol’s body was aching for Jeonghan’s touch, but in his heart something felt amiss. “I don’t want this to feel like some one-night stand.”

Jeonghan frowned slightly, looking at him with concern. “This is anything but a one-night stand to me. You should know that.”

Seungcheol bit his lip, still not completely convinced. “Just…don’t you think this is a bit sudden?”

“Sudden?” The younger ran his hands through the leader’s hair, a loving smile gracing his features. “Cheol, I’ve loved you for three years now… I don’t think I could stand to wait another minute.”

The words seemed to strike a chord with Seungcheol, making his heart flutter as he absentmindedly trailed his hand up Jeonghan’s thigh. “Can you at least.…. promise to be mine before we do anything else…?” He couldn’t help but feel shy as he managed to say the words, his cheeks turning a faint pink despite knowing his answer.

Jeonghan laugh softly, pressing a gentle kiss to the other’s jawline. “I’ve been yours since the day we met.”

“Jeonghan…” Seungcheol was at a loss of words, pulling the younger close once again as he pecked his lips. They shared a few innocent kisses before Jeonghan’s plush lips melded back with his own, pulling him in for a kiss more passionate than their first. All inhibitions faded away as Seungcheol slid his hand down to squeeze Jeonghan’s thigh, making him shiver and moan softly as the older’s movements became more confident. Seeing the other boy reacting so positively to his touches only made him more adventurous, pulling him closer to rock their clothed bulges against each other.

The younger shyly rocked up against the other boy, letting him feel just how painfully aroused he was _. “Seungcheol.” _ The simple word made Seungcheol feel electric charged; to know Jeonghan wanted him so much was such an incredible turn on.

         Everything was happening so fast that Seungcheol could barely process it. Before he knew it, the younger had eagerly lead him over to the bed, pinning him against it. Jeonghan’s hands seemed to be everywhere: running through his hair, down his chest, towards his now growing bulge and thick thighs.

At some point, Seungcheol became completely lost in the moment, unaware of where he stopped and Jeonghan began. After so long keeping their distance, it seemed like now they would be completely inseparable. Hands ran across every expanse of bare flesh, the slight rustle of clothing they no longer cared for becoming a distant memory to them both.

Jeonghan lightly coaxed the older back, the back of his knees hitting the bed before he softly fell down, pulling the younger on top of him as their now naked limbs intertwined with each other. Jeonghan broke the kiss first, kissing down the leader’s neck and chest and admiring his body.

“You’re beautiful, Jeonghan…” Seungcheol sighed in delight, the younger’s hair softly running down his stomach as his kisses trailed even farther down.

Jeonghan nuzzled the leader’s stomach, gaining some confidence before he shyly lapped at the head of Seungcheol’s cock. “Tell me if you want me to stop,” He spoke once more, his confidence starting to slightly waver as he licked a stripe up his length. Seungcheol let out a soft moan, his hands running through Jeonghan’s long locks before Jeonghan took him into his mouth.

“Oh shit…” Seungcheol’s head fell back in delight, his hands tugging at Jeonghan’s hair as he writhed underneath him. It had been so long since he had been with anyone, and he couldn’t have wished for a better person. Not only was it the love of his life, but someone who moved so expertly that Seungcheol could barely control himself.

He licked his lips as he looked down at Jeonghan, wondering how it was possible for someone to look so beautiful in such a compromising position. Jeonghan looked up for a moment, locking eyes with Seungcheol as he moved faster, letting Seungcheol feel just how skillfully his tongue worked. “Jeonghan, god…” The leader couldn’t hold back as a slew of profanities passed his lips, back arching a Jeonghan eagerly took in more, his tongue swirling around his length. He was too good; his body could barely handle the stimulation. With a vague sense of regret he pulled away, pressing Jeonghan onto his back and straddling his hips.

“Someone’s impatient,” Jeonghan teased, taking a sharp inhale as Seungcheol latched onto his neck lapping and sucking at the sensitive area. Seungcheol ran his hands over the younger's body, Jeonghan eagerly spreading his legs wider for him.

“Now look who’s impatient,” The older teased back, sharing a soft laugh that seemed to lighten the nerve-wracking moment. Seungcheol nuzzled into Jeonghan’s neck, taking in his scent as his hands wandered, running up his thighs before pumping Jeonghan’s painfully hard length. He could hear Jeonghan’s breathing quicken as he finally got the touch he craved, pulling Seungcheol closer for more. Once he could tell Jeonghan was relaxing into his touches he moved his hand away, lapping up the precum on his fingers while getting them nice and coated in saliva. Once they were adequate, he positioned his fingers at Jeonghan’s entrance, pecking his lips before slowly pushing a digit into him.

There were a few vague sounds of discomfort from the other, but they were all drowned out by Seungcheol’s soft kisses. He pulled Jeonghan closer as he thrust in another finger, showering him in affection to distract him from the stinging pain he must have felt. It was only after the third finger that Jeonghan whimpered a bit, rocking his hips as he tried to adapt to the feeling. The leader tried to give him time, but he couldn’t help but feel impatient. He wanted Jeonghan so much; even a few moments without him was agonizing.

“Wait…shit…” Seungcheol grumbled, pulling out his fingers much to the dismay of the other. He sat up a moment to search through his abandoned jeans, grabbing a condom from his wallet and rolling it on. Once he moved back he gave Jeonghan a gentle smile before positioning himself at Jeonghan’s entrance. “Tell me if it’s too much, okay?”

Jeonghan bit his lip, shyly looking up at the older boy before pulling him into a soft kiss. “I’m not breakable, Cheol. Don’t worry.”

Seungcheol nodded slightly, slowly pushing into him, comforting his lover as he kissed him repeatedly. The other let out a soft whine in response, biting his lip a bit harder to muffle any sounds of discomfort. The leader stopped when he was seated fully inside, murmuring a quick ‘sorry baby’ as he kissed at his jawline, letting his body relax. Despite being so eager, Seungcheol knew he needed to take it slow for the other boy. In the end all that he truly cared about was Jeonghan, and Jeonghan’s comfort was better than any short moment of pleasure.

So they laid together, sharing tender kisses and words before Jeonghan fully adjusted, rocking up his hips to coax the leader into moving. “I’m okay, Cheol,” he purred, grinding his hips down enough to elicit a soft moan from the other boy.

With how wanton Seungcheol was, he didn’t need to be told twice; holding his hips down as he experimentally rolled his hips back against the younger.

“G-god…” Jeonghan’s voice shook as the older started up a slow but steady pace, his head falling back as he let out shy moans, eagerly pushing his hips back against Seungcheol’s own.

Seungcheol let out a groan, picking up his pace as he admired just how beautiful Jeonghan looked at this angle. His back arched, hair effortlessly framing his face as his head fell back, mouth forming a small “o” as he let out a string of soft moans.

In another world, Jeonghan definitely could have been a porn star.

But here, Seungcheol was happy to have this masterpiece to himself.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan repeated like a mantra, his body completely overstimulated as he reached down to pump his length, his legs wrapping around the leader to pull him in closer. Seungcheol groaned as he was spurred on to move faster, Jeonghan’s hot breath tingling against his neck as he let his inhibitions go, moaning out lewdly. “Oh gosh Seungcheol, yes…” He cried out in delight, before Seungcheol’s hands suddenly covered his mouth.

“We gotta stay quiet, baby,” He cooed, relentless thrusting still causing Jeonghan to cry out against his hand as he rocked up against the older boy.

He could faintly hear the others watching their shows in the background, and prayed they couldn’t hear him or Jeonghan as well as his moans echoed off the walls, feeling himself so close to his release.

Light, muffled moans of ‘Seungcheol’ resounded as the smaller boy easily unwound in front of the leader, his eyes rolling back as ribbons of his cum stained both of their chests. His hands desperately clawed onto Seungcheol’s back, pulling him in for a rough kiss as he came down from his high, his body squeezing against the leader’s cock.

With the added tightness it wasn’t long until Seungcheol gave into his release as well, his vision going white as he thrusted deeper into the other boy. “Jeonghan…” Seungcheol moaned against the other’s ear, holding Jeonghan tightly against him as he rode out his orgasm inside of him.

Both boys were on the brink of exhaustion as they came down from their highs, holding each other close as they gave each other loving pecks, barely able to speak from how worn out they both were.

“You’re amazing, Jeonghan,” Seungcheol finally spoke up, pulling out of the smaller boy and earning a small whimper in response. He tied a knot at the end of his condom wrapper before tossing it in the trash, moving back to pull Jeonghan into his arms. “I...I love you.”

Jeonghan smiled gently, stroking the leader’s cheek. “I love you too, Cheol.”

Seungcheol placed a soft kiss on the younger’s forehead, simply watching the boy he loved. “You look really beautiful like this, you know. I hope it isn’t the last time I see you this way.”

“I’ve told you Seungcheol, I’m not going anywhere,” He reassured, laughing softly at just how worried the older always seemed to be. “But next time, I get to top. Cool...?”

The leader choked a bit at the bluntness of his words, his face going pink before managing out a meek “C-cool.”

A sudden knock on the door made both the men practically freeze, the boy on the other end not even waiting for a response before barging in.

And of course, it was Junhui.

Scandalized, Jeonghan quickly pulled up the blanket, trying to think of a good excuse as to why they would be naked in bed together.

“Oh don’t mind me,” The boy said nonchalantly, walking past the two and reaching into the nightstand beside them. “Jihoon needed his medication and didn’t want to get it with you two in here. I’m glad he missed seeing you in his bed.”

Seungcheol choked as his words, remembering that Jeonghan had just pushed him onto the first available bed.  _ Jihoon’s bed _ . How were they supposed to make an explanation for this…?

“Listen Jun, we can explain—“ The leader started before Jun cut him off.

“No need. These walls are paper thin.” Jun didn’t even blink as he revealed the information. “Mingyu and I were gonna take bets on how long you’d take, but Seokmin said it was in bad taste.”

“Jesus Christ….” Seungcheol groaned, overwhelmed by the information. “I guess we’ll have to be quieter next time.”

Jun cocked an eyebrow. “So this is a thing now, then? Can’t say I didn’t see it coming.”

_ Are we a real thing? Were we even going to tell the others? _ Seungcheol internally panicked, trying to find the right words to explain before just deciding on “...get out, Jun.”

Jun raised his hands up defensively, backing out of the room. “Alright alright, I’m going,” He laughed, yelling out a quick “be safe!” before slamming the door.

“Oh my god…” Jeonghan gawked, completely mortified as he hid his face in Seungcheol’s chest. “So much for keeping this a secret then…”

“There’s really no privacy here, they’d find out sooner or later.” Jeonghan only whined in response, making Seungcheol hold him a bit tighter. “Besides, I don’t think I’d want to hide my super-hot boyfriend from anyone.”

Jeonghan laughed shyly, looking up at the older one. “Let’s be real: you’re definitely the hot one, Seungcheol.”

“Are you crazy?” Seungcheol questioned, cocking an eyebrow. It was obvious to him that Jeonghan was a thousand times more gorgeous, so why was he trying to deny? “Ask anyone, they’ll tell you.”

The younger’s face fell at the comment, his voice getting serious as he cupped his leader’s face. “Maybe they just don’t get to see you the way I do.” Seungcheol face once again tinged pink, shying away from the younger’s touch as he heard the words. “You think so little of yourself, but you’re the most stunning person I’ve ever met.”

“H-how cheesy…” Seungcheol stammered, flustered by his boyfriend’s loving words. Never had he met someone who saw him the way Jeonghan did. And to be quite honest, he never even knew that he could have that kind of effect on anyone. To hear such a loving confession from someone like Jeonghan….it was almost too much for him to handle. “I’m so lucky I met you, Jeonghan.”

The younger leaned up to kiss the leader gently, gazing up at him lovingly despite sleep threatening to overwhelm him at any moment. “Don’t use up all your compliments yet, Cheol,” He teased, “You’re going to have to be dealing with me for a long time.”

“I look forward to it,” Seungcheol yawned, holding Jeonghan a little bit tighter as sleep took a hold of both of them. 


End file.
